


Judging stars

by dreamingronan



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 02:20:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8269012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingronan/pseuds/dreamingronan
Summary: Raphael regretted everything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this but it's angsty so don't read it if you're not into angst. And I wrote it a long time ago so there might be some typos.

Raphael had been walking for two long hours in the chilly rain since the fight he had with Simon. He had been jealous of a extremely hot guy who had been flirting with Simon. Raphael had thought that Simon was flirting back so he had yelled at Simon and accused him of flirting with other guys. Raphael had even called Simon a cheater. But now he realized that Simon had only been kind, as always. He didn't know what to do with himself. Raphael was feeling like everything he had loved, and still loved, was lost and he had nothing left, not even a single piece of happiness. He could feel the tears burning behind his eyes and he knew that he was going to break down any second. He looked up to try and stay focused on wherever he was going, but then he saw Simon's little blue house. He hadn't realized that he had been going back to Simon's blue house. He had been so focused on trying not to breakdown that he never looked up to see where he was heading. He didn't want to look at Simon's house and neither did he want to see Simon. He could feel a single cold tear running down his cheek and he brushed it off like it was nothing. Like it didn't mean anything.   
He put his shaking hands in his pockets and felt something cold against his palm. He took the thing out and realized that it was the gold bracelet that Simon had given him on their one year anniversary. They had been so happy and now Raphael couldn't help but feel more guilty than he had ever felt in his whole endless life. He didn't bear to look at the golden bracelet anymore so he looked up at the dark sky. Even though it was cloudy and raining he could still see some stars behind those thick clouds. Raphael felt like the stars where burning him and judging him for what he had done. He could feel tears running down his cheek and he couldn't hold it back anymore. He fell to the ground and broke down in tears. He didn't realize he was holding the bracelet so hard that he almost broke it. I guess this is guilt, he thought while trying to calm down. When he finally thought he was strong enough to get up and leave he saw the bracelet around his wrist. He must've put it on without knowing it. The golden letters on the bracelet were shining in the light of the street lamps. "Simon Lewis will always love you, Raphael Santiago" he read and smiled a weak smile. This was something Simon used to say everyday after he had given Raphael the bracelet. Those eight words used to be enough for Raphael to keep walking through his endless life, but not anymore.  
Suddenly he heard a loud noise from Simon's house and he looked up. Simon's bedroom window was smashed and he could see someone throwing something that had the shape of a knife. If he would have had a beating heart it would've started beating faster and faster. But he didn't have a heart. He was dead. He was a vampire and he could take down whatever it was inside that house that had smashed the window. In that moment he found himself a new strength and got up on his shaking feet. With all his powers he started running. It was like watching a bullet fly through the air. One second you can see it and the next second it is gone. When he was standing under Simon's window he started to feel weak again. What if Simon was hurt? What if Simon didn't want to se him? He felt a lump in his throat and his knees getting weaker and weaker. Maybe he wasn't ready to face Simon yet. Or maybe he was just being a coward again and he couldn't let himself be a coward now. Not when his entire world was standing behind the window. He jumped with all his strength and landed on the ice cold window frame. When he looked into Simon's green room he could see Simon sitting in a corner, his arms folded around his knees, with a broken chair in front of him. Raphael didn't know what to do. When he saw Simon this broken he didn't want anything else than to hold him and kiss him. He wanted to make Simon feel happy. But he had just broken Simon's beautiful heart. Without realizing what he was doing he started moving, silently, across the room. But then he fell over an other broken chair. Simon looked up with his bloodshot eyes, confused and surprised while looking at the nonmoving body on the floor.

" Raphael? " His voice cracked and his bloodshot eyes started to fill with new tears.   
Raphael's eyes met Simon's and then, before he could stop himself, he pushed Simon ,hard, up against the wall. When he realized what he had done he looked up at Simon who was trying really hard not to kiss Raphael. To break the intense silence Raphael spoke

" I'm so sorry, about everything I really shouldn't h.. "   
But before he could finish Simon was kissing him, hard, like he wanted to devour him whole. Simon could feel Raphael's erection pressed against his thigh and moaned when Raphael started kissing his neck. They were both hard, really hard, and they needed each other more than ever. Simon gasped in surprise when Raphael began licking and nipping teasingly at his neck. Simon couldn't wait anymore. He pulled his shirt over his head and started to kiss Raphael hungrily. He had never wanted anyone so bad in his whole life, as he had always wanted Raphael. He tore Raphael's shirt apart and he couldn't help but stare at Raphael's abs. They always amazed him, no matter how many times he saw them. He could stare at them for a whole day. Suddenly Raphael was ripping Simon's jeans and underwear off and began to plant kisses down Simon's neck.. his chest and his stomach.. not stopping until his mouth was at his cock ghosting his warm breath over Simon's cock, making Simon harder than before. Raphael started circling his tongue slowly around his cock. He then started to circle his tongue faster and faster and then taking him in slowly. Simon pulled Raphael's hair hard while moaning   
" Raph... please.. " his voice was dark and husky and made Raphael even more turned on than he actually thought he could be. But instead of sucking it down he sunk his teeth into the artery below Simon's groin. Simon cried out as he came into Raphael's mouth. Raphael licked up the cum from Simon's cock and the rest of the blood and then kissed Simon passionately. He then pushed Simon down onto the bed and started kissing him hard when they suddenly heard Simon's doorbell. They both looked confused but they got up, put their clothes on and went downstairs.   
" Who could possibly want something from me at 3am? " Simon asked Raphael while walking towards the door.   
Simon opened the door but didn't have time to react before it was too late.   
Raphael screamed at the sight of a shadow hunter cutting Simon's throat. He ran forward and caught Simon before he hit the ground. When he looked into Simon's brown eyes he could see the pain. He then realized that Simon was cut with Maellartach , The Mortal Sword. There was no chance that Simon could survive this. He would leave Raphael alone in this world. He could feel tears running down his cheeks while looking at Simon's painful eyes. He could nor bear to look at his beautiful eyes when they were filled with pain. Instead he turned his head to the place were the shadow hunter had been standing. He let out a loud sob and broke down.  
" Hey, Raph, look at me " Simon's voice cracked but when Raphael looked at him he saw a weak smile on Simon's face.   
" can you take me out, I want to see the stars " he tried to smile at Raphael but he didn't succeed.   
Raphael took Simon's body in his arms and carried him outside. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky and the stars were shining bright. He looked down at Simon who was loosing more blood every second.   
" this is beautiful, me and you, under the stars " Simon said while looking into Raphael's eyes. Raphael burst out in tears.  
" yeah, it's beautiful, except for that you're leaving me " his voice cracked at the end and his whole body was shaking.   
" don't worry about me Raph, I'm going to be fine, you just have to promise me one thing. " he looked into Raphael's brown eyes and smiled, the most beautiful smile Raphael had ever seen.  
" Anything, I'll do anything for you " he was now shaking so hard he didn't know if he was going to survive this. This was too painful. Simon's voice was now as low as an whisper when he finally spoke   
" Don't let my death hold you back, let me go. Move on, find someone who will love you as much as I did. " These words hit Raphael right in his heart. Love someone else? He will never be able to love someone as he loved, and still does, Simon.   
" Raph, look, the stars are shining for us " Simon said as a single tear ran down his cheek. Raphael look up at the dark sky and smiled. When he looked back down at Simon everything stopped. He had lost the love of his life. The only one he had truly loved with his whole heart. He didn't even get to say his last I love you. Raphael closed Simon's eyes while looking up at the sky.   
" I will always love you, Simon Lewis. "

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it was good


End file.
